The Story

When the Guy was born, like all Redditors, he was inspected. If he'd been silent- or slow- or statist- or serious, he would have been discarded.

From the time he could stand, he was baptized in the fire of karma. Taught never to retreat, never to surrender. Taught that downvotes on the Interwebs in service to Bitcoin, was the greatest glory he could achieve in his life.

At the age of 3 minutes, as is customary on the Internet, the Guy was taken from his mother, and plunged into a world of shallow memes. so words. wow.

Manufactured by 5 years of Bitcoin early-adopter culture, to create the finest permabull the world has ever known.

The Reddit, as it is called, forces the Guy to fight. Starves him, forces him to repost the Hold meme; if necessary, to (°.°).

By criticism and rants, the Guy was punished, taught to show no restraint, no mercy. Constantly tested, tossed into the wild… left to pit his wits and will against Keynesian fury.

The Test

It was his initiation, his time in r/Investing; for he would return to r/Bitcoin a Bitcoiner… or not at all.

The neckbeards begin to circle the Guy. Keyboards- trained in DVORAK; their Reddits themed dark as night.

Eyes trained on stocks, bonds, and CNBC; vipers from the pit of fractional-reserve banking itself.

The Fiaters sniffing… selectively collecting facts to support their misguided hypothesis.

It's not fear that grips him, only a heightened sense of things.

The cold air in his basement. The chill in his fingers. His hands are steady.

Bitcoin hits the front page.

His post…

To the moon!!! ┗(°0°)┛
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